If you’ve ever thought, “Why isn’t this working? I’m doing what the book says…” or “Am I the only one who doesn’t have this figured out?”
Don’t worry. This is something many parents go through.
Hi, I’m Carly Schrimpl, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and owner of Power Within Child Therapists. I work with children and teens who are navigating anxiety, ADHD, depression, and big life transitions like divorce, adoption, or grief. But I also work closely with parents, and what I hear all the time is this:
“I want to do this right. But I don’t know what ‘right’ even looks like anymore.”
The reality is: Most parenting books mean well, but they often miss the mark.
They offer scripts, strategies, or “10 simple steps.” But your child doesn’t need you to follow a script. They need you. The real, emotionally present version.
So let’s shift the focus from doing it “right” to doing it real.
Here are 3 powerful ways to parent more authentically, no perfect-parent mask required:
Tip #1: Model and engage in coping skills.
Instead of trying to keep everything together all the time, show your child what it looks like to cope in real life.
That might mean saying, “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths.”
You’re not just managing yourself, you’re teaching them how to manage, by doing it with them. That’s real-world learning.
Tip #2: Express your feelings.
You don’t need to hide your emotions to be a “good parent.” In fact, bottling them up teaches your child that feelings are something to fear or avoid.
Try saying something like, “I’m feeling frustrated right now, so I’m going to take a pause and stretch it out.”
You’re keeping it short, safe, and age-appropriate, but you’re also showing them that feelings are normal, and coping is possible.
Tip #3: Practice strategies side-by-side.
You don’t have to throw the parenting book out, but you don’t have to follow it like a rulebook either.
Instead, try a strategy with your child your way, the way that fits your values and your child’s temperament, and then experiment with how the book suggests.
For example, let’s say your child is feeling overwhelmed after school. The parenting book strategy may suggest five-finger breathing, where you trace your fingers with your other hand — in as you go up, out as you go down.
What might feel more natural to you is to say something like, “I know you’re feeling overwhelmed. Let’s step outside and walk to the mailbox while we breathe. In through the nose…out through the mouth.”
Let them experience both, and talk about what felt helpful. That opens up collaboration, flexibility, and trust.
At the end of the day, your relationship is the tool that matters most. Not the scripts. Not the reward charts. Not the perfectly worded responses.
It’s you – showing up, doing your best, and letting your child see what it looks like to grow.
So if you’re parenting through anxiety, overwhelm, or big changes in your child’s life, give yourself permission to lead from connection, not control.
Because being yourself is not only enough, It’s exactly what your child needs.
And if you’d like support along the way, for your child, your family, or just for you as a parent, we’re here to help.
Schedule an appointment with us at Power Within Child Therapists. Together, we’ll help your child feel heard, understood, and confident, and help you feel more grounded and connected as a parent.
